- Revealing things that should be confessed only to a priest (confessional material)
- Saying negative things about your spouse
- Making blunt/cruel comments and then excusing yourself by saying you are “just being honest”
- Garbage dumping: blaming your spouse, bringing up old stuff, or unloading burdens
- Manipulating: sharing things in the hope that your spouse will change
- Working on problems rather than exploring each other’s feelings